3 months have passed

It's been 3 months since we received that heartbreaking news our last fertility treatment didn't work. As I look back on that prayerful decision we made to take a break for a bit my heart is full. I thought it was going to be hard to do nothing for 3 months. At the beginning of  those first 2 years before we started treatments I always had an itch to have a baby but it was always "It'll come. It'll come. Just be patient. For some people it takes time for it to happen." Towards the end of the second year I was dying. It consumed everything about me. My thoughts. My actions. For heavens sake I was no where close to having a baby but I would walk the baby isles at the store looking around like I had something to buy. I would even put off taking a pregnancy test because I knew I wasn't pregnant but the thought that I could be was better than knowing for sure I wasn't. Denial. It was straight up denial. I was like the lady on Glee. You know the one at the very beginning of the series before it went super trashy. The only thing I was missing was a fake pregnant belly to strap on each day. Maybe I wasn't that bad but it was still hard. I thought these last 3 months were going to be like that and in a way I was dreading it. I'd rather be doing something to achieve our goal rather than sit around and hope for it to happen. None the less we felt strongly we should and it has been wonderful blessing.
The last 3 months have flown by and have been filled with peace. Don't get me wrong EVERYDAY we think about and pray for the children we will have one day. But we've grown over these 3 months in ways we wouldn't have otherwise. Our bodies, minds, and spirits are stronger and better. We needed to take a step back and focus on us again. Regardless of whether or not we have children here on earth Matt and I are a family. Just because we do not have children does not mean we are not a family.
Because we consciously took that time away from our infertility it made that time easier but we decided that come our anniversary in April we would begin again. So needless to say I've got the baby itch again. We're ready to start pursuing the avenues we need to grow our family. We're excited, full of hope, and full of faith.