Freaking out.

Now I'm freaking out. So excited about our race with PPP but I'm freaking out now. Why? Because we've got to go public and we've got to do it fast. PPP is waiting to announce who they've selected for the race in July until we've had a chance to tell those we need to about our infertility. 

I'm okay to tell people and I'm okay to talk about it. But it's a little strange and difficult finding a way to start the conversation. And I feel bad for those we have to tell. No one knows what to say to that. 

For example, we started by telling our parents. I called my Dad....

Me: "Hey Dad, are you busy?" 

Dad: "No. What do you need?"

Me: "Well...I need to talk to you about something."

Dad: "You're pregnant!"

Me: "Ummmmm...no. Its quite the opposite actually." 

Dad: "You can't get pregnant?" 

BINGO. And then the conversation continued and it was fine. He encouraged me to have faith and continue praying for children and that he would pray for me to. But, still...it's just a strange thing to have to talk about. 

And now we have to tell the masses. How do you suppose I do that? Email? Facebook? Mass text? Say, "Hey everybody check out this link." and send them back here to the blog? I don't know what to do! And to top that off we need to fundraise more money than just what we could get from the race so how do you do that? And when do you do that? I already have a hard time asking for help. I'm much too prideful. If anything throughout this whole process I've learned the importance of humility. Infertility has been an incredibly humbling experience and the love and support we've already experienced is overwhelming. We truly have been blessed by the love of so many. But to ask people for even their spare change is going to be a trial. I almost think I would be more comfortable standing on the corner outside of a McDonalds with a sign that says "Put a baby in my blessing! Anything will help." But now reading that it could definitely go any sorts of directions. You get what I mean though.